Not a Glass of Water
by Berrybanana05
Summary: Here, the Avengers are at the Age Of Ultron party and Thor is offering the Avengers a turn at picking up Mjolnir. Loki turns the offer down, returning to his book. After a while, he asks Thor to pass him his glass of water. What Thor passes him- Well, it isn't water.


Loki has been on probation for a year. Rather than imprisonment, Odin decided to force Loki to pay for his crimes by working with the Avengers to protect Earth for as long as Odin deems fit. Neither the Avengers or SHIELD are particularly happy with the arrangement but Loki behaves and ends up being rather useful.

Here, the Avengers are at the Age Of Ultron party and Thor is offering the Avengers a turn at picking up Mjolnir.  
Loki turns the offer down, returning to his book.  
After a while, he asks Thor to pass him his glass of water.  
What Thor passes him-  
Well, it isn't water.

* * *

The cream pages curl elegantly beneath his fingers as he turns them, engrossed in the tale.  
Around him the mortals mingle and he pays them little attention. Behind him, Banner and Romanoff flirt until the spy slinks away and the Captain takes her place chatting to Banner. The latter is clearly vexed. Loki smirks as the humans toy with each other.  
Alright, maybe he is paying them a bit of attention. But old habits die hard and Loki will most likely never allow himself to fully relax in their presence.

Eventually, Thor wanders over and Loki wards off his attempts at smalltalk with varying levels of amusement and slowly the rest of the Avengers move to join them too. The mage observes them over the top of his book and smirks as the topic shifts to Thor's hammer. He knows what's coming.  
_This should be amusing._

Thor places his hammer down on the table and invites them all to try to pick it up as many times as they care to.  
Barton scoffs and twirls a drumstick in one hand- "But it's a trick."- and Thor merely laughs and passes whatever Aesir liquor he's procured this time to the Captain.  
"No, no, it's much more than that."  
His eyes twinkle. Loki wonders if Thor even realises just how much 'more' there is to the hammer he's wielded for so long. He doubts it.  
The Hawk gestures at mjolnir with the drumstick and, putting on his best 'Thor Voice', speaks- "Ah, whosoever be he worthy shall haveth the power."  
Loki smirks at that one and the man's smile quickly falls. Barton glares at him and Loki raises his hands, returning to his book.  
_Still touchy, it seems.  
_Clint sighs and returns to his point.  
"Whatever, man! It's a trick!"

Loki studies him over the top of his book again. He wonders what kind of background Clint has that- despite having seen Thor fly and conjure lightning (oh and being controlled by Loki himself)- would cause him to believe the magic of mjolnir was merely a 'trick'.  
Loki's own magic had been referred to frequently as 'just tricks' (despite his clear proficiency and the fact that it was much more useful on a battlefield than the much-praised brute strength and idiocy of the other Asgardian warriors) but Mjolnir's magic? As a weapon that had served Thor on the battlefield for many years, Loki had assumed that the other Avengers would have more respect for it.  
Clearly not.

Thor is merely amused at the man's statement and gestures to the hammer, inviting Clint to have a try.  
"Please, be my guest."  
Clint watches him for a moment, trying to gauge whether or not he's serious.  
'Come on. Really?"  
"Yeah."  
Loki lowers his book ever so slightly. In his peripheral vision, the other Midgardians turn too, their conversations faltering now a more interesting form of entertainment is available.

The Hawk hauls himself to his feet and sets the drumsticks down on the table.  
'Rhodey' as Stark calls him, makes a smart comment with a smile and Stark follows that up with an innuendo and a grin. Loki rolls his eyes but allows a smile to curve his lips and listens to the mortals laugh.  
Clint comments again about how he's 'seen this done before' and Loki just watches.  
_Foolish mortal.  
_The mortal in question tries to lift the hammer with a grunt but quickly gives up with a laugh like so many others. Stark nips back in with another quick quip and then he's up too, proclaiming 'It's just physics."  
Loki's smile grows further and his eyes flick back down to his book.  
The Man of Iron asks if he rules Asgard if he lifts the hammer and Thor, doing his best not to laugh, agrees. Stark makes another vulgar comment and finally attempts to lift the hammer. As expected, it doesn't so much as scrape on the glass.  
He tries again with his metal arm, then a shifted grip, then finally with 'Rhodey' who also apparently has a metal arm too.  
Stark pulls until he goes red in the face and Clint makes a clapback of his own which Tony amusedly agrees that he deserves.

Banner goes up next, going so far as to climb on the table and push against it with his heels. Loki fears for the glass and moves his drink to the floor.  
The mortal grunts and groans and even attempts a battlecry which would be amusing if Loki wasn't so worried he might turn into the Hulk and go for round two of 'Punch the Frost Giant into Yesterday'.

Finally, Banner sits (much to Loki's relief) and the Captain stands, and Loki watches with a tad more caution than the others. He's heard of the man's 'saintliness' and while he knows that the mortal would be incredibly unlikely to take Thor up on his offer of ruling Asgard (and therefore the nine realms too), he doesn't particularly wish to test his hypothesis.

"Go ahead, Steve. No pressure." Someone says.  
The Captain rolls up his sleeves and Tony says a quick word of encouragement before he sets his hands on Mjolnir's handle.  
He pulls. The table squeaks.  
Loki's eyes widen in horror and in the corner of his eye, Thor's amused smile falls, a slight look of panic setting in.  
Loki watches Steve very carefully after that and is interested to note that the second the man realises _he can lift the hammer_ he shifts his grip and pretends to pull again before 'giving up'.  
Thor's easy smile returns and Steve shrugs before throwing up his hands. "Nothing." He says, like he didn't just have the power of the gods and the stars in his mortal hands and turn it down.  
Loki eyes the bottle Thor has been passing between just Steve and he- _if he doesn't count the passed-out Midgardians Thor had so foolishly agreed to give some to earlier-_ for most of the night.  
_Perhaps not so mortal after all.  
_Either way, he will watch the captain with a more cautious (and perhaps more respectful) eye after this.

The Widow is offered a round but she gracefully turns that down. She swigs from a bottle and grins at them all.  
Loki wonders if she already has her answer.

The others now all laugh and make jokes, one going so far as to suggest the hammer is coded to Thor's fingerprints- Loki snorts at that one- and Thor shuts them up by simply picking it up as if it weighs nothing, tossing it in one hand, a beer still clutched in the other.  
"You're all not worthy."  
He smiles.

Loki just chuckles.  
'What's so funny, Rock of Ages? Do you want a turn?" Stark asks, only half joking.  
The mage grins.  
'As much as I'd love to humiliate myself in the same fashion you all just did, Stark, I think I'll stick to my book, thank you very much."

The Midgardians rolled their eyes and sat back, returning to whatever dull conversation they'd been going through before. Loki turned another page. The book was really quite something. He didn't have time to read any of Earth's literature the last time he was here but he'd been pleased to find that it was actually rather good. Excellent, in fact. Few people chose to pursue careers other than fighting on Asgard so the fiction there was rather... Well. There wasn't much at all.

But this truly was entertaining, even if it was targeted at those younger than himself.  
Stark had introduced him to the series as a joke initially- a young boy with green eyes and dark hair goes to 'wizard school'- but Loki had quickly found himself enjoying the series and was now on the fifth book. He could've easily finished them already but he had decided to postpone the end a little longer by reading other books in between. He finished the Percy Jackson series (he'd found the stories of other gods amusing and the midgardians' odd wording even more so), then 'The Hunger Games', then the Divergent trilogy. He had suffered through (and later burned) Twilight but then greatly enjoyed 'The Host' by the same author and even made his way through the Artemis Fowl series (which he loved) where he discovered that (apparently) Midgardians sometimes loved a complex villain just as much as they admired a good hero.

While he knew the works were just fiction and not fact (he'd had a humiliating conversation with Stark about when the tributes were being selected for the next 'Hunger Games' and why the Avengers hadn't tackled that corrupt government yet) he still found them fascinating.  
So fascinating, that he didn't tear his eyes away from the page when he asked Thor to pass him his drink.

_There was a quiet scrape on the table.  
_So fascinating, that he didn't look up even as he absent-mindedly listened to the titters of the mortals.  
_"__Here you are, brother."  
_So fascinating, that he didn't turn to see what was being passed to him until it was in his hand.  
"_Thank you_."  
He closed his fingers around the cylinder, expecting the smooth sensation of glass. He frowned as it settled in his grip and the room went silent. It was smooth but too thin and had odd ridges-  
Loki froze.

Slowly, he turned his head to see what exactly Thor had passed to him.  
Sitting in his grip as if it were made of mere plastic or steel, he saw Mjolnir.  
It had to be a trick.  
He sat up, swivelling his legs around from his lounging position.  
"Ha-ha, very funny, Thor. Where's the real one?"  
He held the hammer out to Thor, an eyebrow raised.  
The room was dead silent.

Stark, unsurprisingly, was the first to open his mouth.  
"Are you serious? Reindeer Games is worthy but not us?"  
Loki's mouth went dry.  
"The game is up, Stark, this is clearly not the real Mjolnir."  
He looked to Thor who was staring at Loki with wide eyes.  
"So either he's been volunteering at a kitten rescue centre or that hammer is broken because there's no way that _he_ should be able to lift that."  
Loki dropped the hammer and the table smashed beneath it.  
He swallowed.  
_There's no way.  
_"I need to go."  
"Brother-" Thor seemed lost for words.

Loki made for the exit. He might've gotten there if it wasn't for the sudden screech of static and metal on metal. The lights flickered and died, plunging them into half-darkness. He slowly backed away from the stairs as one of Stark's bots staggered towards him, sparks flying from open wires and grinding gears.  
It was misshapen, hastily thrown together and barely clinging to life.

It was also really not what Loki needed right now.  
"How could you be worthy? You're all killers." It grated out.

"Yeah, that's what we'd like to know."  
A pointed comment, directed at would never be addressed, Loki decided.  
He would take this particular secret to the grave.  
He wasn't entirely sure why.  
He guessed it was just stubbornness at this point.  
Stubbornness and a good deal of self-destruction.

He lifted his hands, letting Seidr flow through his veins as the Avengers discussed the new development.  
As soon as he dealt with whatever this thing was.


End file.
